27 January 2005 Ok, today wasn't such a shitty day. Dr Xu didn't F me for tutorials. I even decided to go down for band. And I bothered to learn something on the xylophone. Gee, it's not so bad. Beats having to sit down at the back and stone for a few hours. I will put more effort into learning this music thingy! Yeah!! 28 January 2005 Today was a good day. Went to play LAN with a few of the classmates at AMK Goodspeed Cybercafe. Tried WC3 Defence of the Ancients. It's not bad. But I kept dying. Oh well, I need more practice. Went down to IHM for confession and daily mass after that. Father Bryan De Souza is a damn good priest. His advice is the best. I'll tell you frankly, I'm actually damn vulgar. So I'm trying to change that right now. He says, if we use vulgar language unceasingly, we are just animals. But he adds on, humans are indeed animals, but ones that can think before they act. So we must be conscious of what we do to others. If you are tempted to swear, you must try to control your anger (and your mouth). It's not easy, but you must try. Had dinner nearby, then went to SVDP for CL meeting. 29 January 2005 Went to Maris Stella for Legion meeting. All right! We have another 2 new people! Deo Gratias!! I hope they actually stay. We had lunch at cedar market kopitiam after that. Eugene and I went down to Orchard to meet Pet, Robin, Winson and Marcus. Marcus was fricking late. Alamak! We walked all the way to botanical gardens, where we walked the whole day. We are planning for our event, the mass games in May. Tiring. We walked all over the place! Then there was this spice garden. Lovely place. Mint, rosemary, thyme, you name it they have it. Went to Serangoon interchange with Marcus after that, then we went our own way. 30 January 2005 Went for CL in the morning. Went for the Legion outdoor activity at Changi Point after that. It was basically a field cooking exercise. Lol. My group fried nuggets in a mess tin. The results were fantastic. Ate a lot, a lot of baked beans. Nicholas, the new guy came along with us. Today was fun I guess. We were playing this game where we had to run hold this stick stuck to the ground and run around it 10 times. A few of us got giddy and we ran to the wrong end of the playing ground! Me included.. Parents picked me up later. Gave Nicholas a lift to Serangoon side. Went to my Father's friend's place. His wife cut my hair for free. It looks kind of different now. I wonder what reaction I'll get tomorrow. Went to eat curry rice at hougang side with everybody, then went home. Ah, Daryl Chng says that I'm in Passion play committee. Hmm, I hope I can do a good job this year. And juggle all my Legion work and school work and musical work (shit why so much one?!)...... Lol, I dunno why, but I feel very happy to do Legion work nowadays. Must be the boost in morale.. Deo Gratias!

Let’s see what happened today. Today I went to the library after Microbiology B practical. I had to renew the book I borrowed. Then the machine had some problem. After I keyed in my PIN, it hanged. So I was about to ask the librarian for help when the machine became all right. Ah.

I went for rosary organized by NYP Legion of Mary. It was for the tsunami victims. Decided to stay behind and observe their weekly meeting. I have never gone for an English Legion meeting before. What can I say? I think I like my presidium better. It feels so….different…

Heh, it’s kind of funny. They have to share their room with Campus Crusade and Buddhist Society. So it’s rather amusing to see a poster of the Sacred Heart of Jesus on the Legion shelf and pictures of Buddha on the locker next to it. Now that’s what I call racial and religious harmony! It’s even more amusing to see Campus Crusade and Legion of Mary share the same premises. It’s like sleeping with the enemy. Ok fine, in this great age of ecumenism, we do not label other Christian groups as heretics, just like we did in the dark ages. We hope to strive for Christian Unity. It is by God’s will that last week was the Week for Christian Unity? Hahaha.

http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/pontifical_councils/chrstuni/weeks-prayer-doc/rc_pc_chrstuni_doc_20040701_week-prayer-2005_en.html

Really, no matter how hard we try to achieve unity, we will still end up trying to convert each other. Say it isn’t so? Well, for one thing, I believe that truth is more important that unity. What use is it if we all die together fruitlessly? So then you may ask, what is truth? I believe that whatever my church teaches is true, and you also believe that what ever your church teaches is true. But what both sides teach contradict one another! Who is right? Who has all the truth?

Is it possible to achieve unity and embrace all the truth that God has given unto us? Or are we going to compromise our morals and integrity in the name of unification? Do we really want to be like the United Nations? Which is corrupt, lacking in courage, and promotes a culture of death? I am not going to preach, but I’ll let you think about it yourself. May God open our eyes and make us see.

Ut sint unum ovile et unus pastor.

That there may be one flock and one shepherd

Just an addition.. I was reading todays' papers and I read the one about the 'soggy biscuit'. Oh my God! How can they ever have something like that? The very act of masturbation is wrong in itself, yet you can have a group of people competing with each other in wanking? I thank God that he has kept me from seeing anything like that. Ok lah, not that I am super holy, but then....wah lao eh... That is no better than a gay orgy! (In case you think I am homophobic, let me clarify that I am not. I simply oppose gay acts. Why? Because it is against the natural order.) Lol, then I was reading the article on the guy who did research on sex. Interesting. He published his work at a time where America was still conservative (I repeat, WAS.) Now what was his name....Ah, Alfred Charles Kinsey.. He has invented this thing called the Kinsey scale. From a scale of 1 to 6. 1 is 100% straight, 6 is 100% gay. People at that time believed that you are either gay or straight. But he disagreed. Well, you all have heard of bisexuals right? I think they are 3 or something. Not too sure, just a guess.

19 January 2005

Today there was open house at school. So I went down to help in the name of nyp-pals. Brought some people to tour SCL. Then they re-deployed me to car park 17, at the back of the business school. Had to bring this class from Bendeemer sec on a school tour. Unfortunately, I forgot to take them to the school talk at the lecture hall. But thankfully, they helped to arrange another one, thus saving my ass from getting beaten up. They were a decent bunch, but the girls were damn troublesome. Ah, what to do… So I ended their tour at 5 pm since they wanted to go home. So I went home at 6 pm.

20 January 2005

Open house again. This time I was helping in the name of SCL. Very happy to see Clement and Pauline bothering to come down. At least Jay won’t screw us that badly about the attendance the next time he sees us, because, out of ten people, guess how many turned up for that day?

Three!

Today was relatively slack. I came at 1230 pm, but our school only came at 3.30 pm. So we had time to walk around. Donna and her friends came, so I took them around. Was supposed to take Bendeemer (again), but St Gabs came first so they made us take this school. A funny bunch of people, no one can doubt that they are from a guys’ school. I was taking this class with Clement. Eventually we split into two groups. My group spent a lot of time in the engineering school. No prizes for guessing what these people want to do next time.

I had fun with this group. At least they bothered to look at the exhibits and ask questions. Their tour even exceeded the opening hours. What can I say? This is not a bad job.

Went down to orchard with Joshua and my brother to eat dinner. Went home after that.

21 January 2005

Today I went back to Maris Stella with Eugene to finish off the Legion paperwork. I met him in City Hall. He went to meet a seller from Ebay to get his goods. He bought this board game called Beer College. It looks very funny. Basically, it is a drinking game. But you can use water, or sprite or coke, and so on. Interesting. He bought it quite cheaply, and it was in mint condition. It’s an American product, but the box says made in Singapore. Funny.

We went back to school after lunch. Managed to finish quite a bit of work, but I haven’t finished my share yet. Went for CL at night. Crappy attendance. As a result, we could go home early.

22 January 2005

Went to Maris Stella for Legion meeting. At fricking last, we have one new member! Yay! Alleluia!!

Though I have heard some disturbing rumours. Some idiots have been circulating ‘news’ that our group is boring and that you should not join it. As a result we have much difficulty in recruiting people. If they are unbelievers then I have nothing to say, but they are bloody Catholic! How can they do this to us? Perhaps this has been happening for a long time already.

But we are not boring! If only these punks will come and we could show them. It must be the work of the devil. Faith in Maris Stella is declining….So it is our duty to revive it.

Went to NYP to help in open house after that. This time I was working for nyp-pals. Damn bus 135 take so bloody long. It seems like every bus I wait for takes forever to come. And it didn’t help that I was super hungry at that time. I ate a lot of food when I reached school. Today I did crowd control at the registration booth. Not too bad. Went home at 5.30 pm.

I went to my cousin’s wedding dinner at fullerton. Whoa! The place was fantastic. The food was really good. Oh, and my brother got busted for piercing his ears. So I lost my appetite for desert and started praying for mercy. I have never prayed so many rosaries and divine mercy chaplets at one shot in my life, and for so long. Amazingly my parents haven’t screwed him over yet. But I know this will not be the end of it. Who will win? Them or him? No, there is no winner you see. We will all lost.

I don’t understand! Why the hell did he have to fricking pierce his ears? What is it with you young people?! You all like to stand up to authorities right? Like to smoke and dye hair right?

Fools! Weak-minded! Desperately trying to seek the approval of your peers? If you’re friends are on the road to perdition, shall you join their vehicle? Instead of conforming to the rest of them, why not you be unique and do good instead? Since everyone is trying to be a pai-kia, be a non-conformist and be a guai-kia! Be outstanding and show everyone what you are really made of.

Has it become cool to go to hell? Well, once you’re there, it’s not cool anymore. Be forewarned, the kingdom of God is at hand.

And the hour has already started.

In cases such as these I'd like a hand
Don't wake me up without a master plan
With black & white instead of colour
Don't you understand?
When things that once were beautiful
Are bland

And when I feel like I can feel once again
Let me stay awhile
Soak it in awhile
If we can hold on we can fix what is wrong
Buy a little time
For this head of me
Haven for us

In truth there is no better place to be
Than falling out of darkness still to see

Without a premonition
Could you tell me where we stand?
I'd hate to lose this light
Before we land

And when I feel like I can feel once again
Let me stay awhile
Soak it in awhile
If we can hold on we can fix what is wrong
Buy a little time
For this head of mine
Haven for us

Before we let euphoria
Convince us we are free
Remind us how we used to feel
Before when life was real

And when I feel like I can feel once again
Let me stay awhile
Soak it in awhile
If we can hold on we can fix what is wrong
Buy a little time
For this head of mine
Haven for us

the delgados - The Light Before We Land
(Gunslinger Girl OP)


I finally finished transposing Down in Adoration Falling for the xylophone. So cool! I'll post it when I feel like it.

Why are people so superficial? Why do we backstab others when we hate others doing it to us? Why do we mock others when we are afraid of others' mockery? Are we stupid or what? I'm seen too much of this. God have mercy on us sinners.

Fish, Chips and Mushy Peas

Onesome: Fish- Do you have a favorite outdoor hobby or are you a strictly stay at home type?

A mishmash of both. Favourite outdoor hobby? Walking around places I've never been to I guess.

Twosome: Chips- Do you gamble? Lotto, weekly poker night or weekends in Vegas?

Not really. I'm really bad at gambling. No money anyway.

Threesome: and mushy peas- What's the strangest thing you've ever eaten?

Cockroaches, when I was young. Damn Chinese medicine, supposed to be good for Asthma. What the helll?

Today was quite okay. Except that I came to school at 8 when I was supposed to be there at 9. Apparently, some of us never got the message. Went to the library to sit down for a while. Borrowed Tom Clancy's Red Rabbit. Organic Chem ended at 2 pm instead of 3pm. Went home, showered and slept. Was supposed to wake up at 4 pm to study, but I always never do. Woke up at 8pm, ate dinner, did my homework. Or rather, I'm still doing it.

Let's see... it was quite a slack week. Very little homework, though it's starting to pile up right now. What else is there...not much really. Over a period of time, I have made an interesting observation. With the profileration of 'blogs' or online diaries, people tend to make their innermost thoughts open for everyone to see. Ok, it may not be too much of a bad thing. But what if your parents read it? What if your bosses read it? What if your enemies read it? It's really amazing that we just blog everything out. The name of that F***head who pissed me off today. The actions of someone senior to me that offended me very much. The girl who's such a bitch and so on.... And most of us don't put passwords! We hardly think twice about what we are going to say in public. Can we safely assume that certain people will not read our writings? So, we think that only the people we give our blog address to can read it? Wrong! Internet search technology is so advanced, I can search for your blog address even if you refuse to tell me. Unless you passworded it, but chances are you didn't. Writing things that we don't want people to know under a false sense of security, being; "Only people who I gave the address to know about it.", can be explained in a simple analogy. It's like taking a shower with the plastic screen drawn, but your bathroom door open! Any idiot can just walk in, draw open the plastic screen and say, "Hi, nice body." Your plastic screen represents your false sense of security. Your open bathroom door means that there is no safety at all!! Your political enemies are reading your mind and planning their next move. Someone is planning a defamation law suit. Someone is preparing his poison pen letters. AGAINST YOU. So what are we going to do about it? We can choose to censor what we say, or if you find that too restrictive, you can always make your blog private with password locks and all. I really find it amazing. A blogs something that happened in their group. B is from that group. A never expected B to read the blog. And now B is really pissed off by what A has written. A refuses to take back what he said. A and B get into a really big arguement and soon everything becomes so screwed! I've seen it before. Very ridiculous I would say. No offence to those who know what I mean. So to end my letter, let me impart the Life Alchemist's advice: "The Art of War states that you must know your enemy to defeat him. Hence, do not let your enemy know about you." Of course you must know youself well.

31^st December 2004

Today school ended at 10 Am. I went home. Joshua came over. We all had lunch, then headed down to pasir ris for chalet. My brother came along too. Reached there at about 5pm.. We went down to the park to play some games then came back to BBQ at 6 or so. Food was cooked by Pet, and it was f***ing good!

Then we had the countdown to 2005. We had the sparklers and party poppers and of course, the wine. Some of us threw the sparklers into the air to the other side of the block and the maintainence fellows came to berate us several times. Lol.

1^st January 2005

Welcome to the new year all ye punks. So we continued playing our games. Eugene had this game. Damn funny. You have 2 blocks of styrofoam. Use them to perform a short act. Repeat until a team runs out of ideas. Damn damm funny! You ought to have seen it! Oh yeah, my brother and Joshua were so high that I was the alcohol medic for that day. Kept bringing cups of water and forcing them to drink. Water dilutes their blood alcohol. Then there was truth or dare. A lot of funny forfeits. Like asking Robin when was the last time he scratched his balls. Like asking Dominic to go ask for a girl's number outside. Like asking my brother to go beg for some food. Like asking me what it is like to see somebody you like. Like asking me to say I love you to everybody in the room. Basket...purposely one... -_-”

Then there was the game about the murderer. The detective has to find the murder before it's too late. It's involves sending impulses to 'kill' people by squeezing each others' hands. Oh they had fun with that one, though I kept getting caught. After that game they starting talking about racist jokes. I went to sleep for half and hour before coming down again. So funny. Some of us got bored at around 6 something, so we went walking around and then came back at 6/30? Ah, I went to look for toilet paper to shit, but then the whole damn place can't find. Then I checked my pocket and found tissue there. Shit! Wasted my energy walking up and down. So here's some advice for you. When going to chalet, bring toilet rolls. Damn cheapo NTUC only gives one roll.

Most of them were knocked out by 7. I was the only one not sleeping. I was listening to music, walking around aimlessly in the room, and thinking. I simply did not feel like sleeping. So I did some writing. I'll show you what I had come up with that day sometime soon. But anyway I did end up sleeping at 7.30. Woke up at 8.30 or 9, to hear Dominic complaining about how bored he was. I must say, he really changed a lot after going to the army. He is more vulgar now, and is super cynical. Alamak boss, what happened? Time changes everything I guess.

All of them were awake at 10. So we cleaned up and checked out. We went in Prisca's father's bus to white sands to eat lunch. I really did not feel like eating. I dunno, I had this sense of ennui. Either I had too little sleep, too much alcohol (Wtf, a few cups of wine then like that? You sux man..), and either because....never mind...I don't know what happened, but I didn't talk to her much this time. Mostly one-liners. Hmm.

Came home with Joshua and my brother at around one something pm. Quite early. Was supposed to join Pet and some of them at night for another gathering, but I figured that I had no money and no mood. I wonder if they did go in the end. Slept at 3 something pm to 8 pm. Stayed up till 3 AM after Gabriel told me that there was camp evaluation after Curia the next day. Finished my group's evaluation.

2^nd January 2005

Damn it, received Pet's SMS. There would be no camp evaulation till next Saturday. Stayed up for nothing, bah. Was late for CL. Did not hear the alarm ring at 7 am. Was woken up by Darren Ho's frantic call of “Where are you!? Coming or not!?”. So my brother and I went down anyway. Dear Mother sent us there, but not before lecturing us for sleeping late. Hmm.

Went to Metro with parents after church. Father had voucher from the bank. I bought a pair of pants for the chinese new year. Went for Curia after that. But we had to pick up Matthew from PS first. Traffic was really terrible. There was this accident too. Badly smashed up front carriage. Shit man. So we were really late for meeting. It started at 1pm. We came at 1.30pm.

Went for Joshua's birthday at night. A really small affair. The steamboat and hot plate was really great. Had some drinks too. Tried vodka for the first time. It's tasty. Makes me feel warm inside.

Damn it.... have I become some kind of drunkard? I was thinking about the disaster that just occurred few days ago. And...it didn't really strike me too much. I merely thought to myself, “God have mercy on us, and on the whole world.” and merely “Life goes on.” Has my heart turned cold? I did pray for them, but then I did not know what else to do. Does time really change everything, my heart, your heart, everybody's heart? I don't know, but 2005 is not going to be an ordinary year. I will just continue discovering about life, love, joy, sorrow, anger, and death.

Take my hand and join me. Let us touch the future.

"All Through The Night" by Cyndi Lauper All through the night I'll be awake and I'll be with you All through the night This precious time when time is new Oh, all through the night today Knowing that we feel the same without saying We have no past we won't reach back Keep with me forward all through the night And once we start the meter clicks And it goes running all through the night Until it ends there is no end All through the night stray cat is crying so stray cat sings back All through the night They have forgotten what by day they lack Oh under those white street lamps There is a little chance they may see We have no past we won't reach back Keep with me forward all through the night And once we start the meter clicks And it goes running all through the night Until it ends there is no end Oh the sleep in your eyes is enough Let me be there let me stay there awhile We have no past we won't reach back Keep with me forward all through the night And once we start the meter clicks And it goes running all through the night Until it ends there is no end Keep with me forward all through the night And once we start the meter clicks And it goes running all through the night Until it ends there is no end