31^st December 2004

Today school ended at 10 Am. I went home. Joshua came over. We all had lunch, then headed down to pasir ris for chalet. My brother came along too. Reached there at about 5pm.. We went down to the park to play some games then came back to BBQ at 6 or so. Food was cooked by Pet, and it was f***ing good!

Then we had the countdown to 2005. We had the sparklers and party poppers and of course, the wine. Some of us threw the sparklers into the air to the other side of the block and the maintainence fellows came to berate us several times. Lol.

1^st January 2005

Welcome to the new year all ye punks. So we continued playing our games. Eugene had this game. Damn funny. You have 2 blocks of styrofoam. Use them to perform a short act. Repeat until a team runs out of ideas. Damn damm funny! You ought to have seen it! Oh yeah, my brother and Joshua were so high that I was the alcohol medic for that day. Kept bringing cups of water and forcing them to drink. Water dilutes their blood alcohol. Then there was truth or dare. A lot of funny forfeits. Like asking Robin when was the last time he scratched his balls. Like asking Dominic to go ask for a girl's number outside. Like asking my brother to go beg for some food. Like asking me what it is like to see somebody you like. Like asking me to say I love you to everybody in the room. Basket...purposely one... -_-”

Then there was the game about the murderer. The detective has to find the murder before it's too late. It's involves sending impulses to 'kill' people by squeezing each others' hands. Oh they had fun with that one, though I kept getting caught. After that game they starting talking about racist jokes. I went to sleep for half and hour before coming down again. So funny. Some of us got bored at around 6 something, so we went walking around and then came back at 6/30? Ah, I went to look for toilet paper to shit, but then the whole damn place can't find. Then I checked my pocket and found tissue there. Shit! Wasted my energy walking up and down. So here's some advice for you. When going to chalet, bring toilet rolls. Damn cheapo NTUC only gives one roll.

Most of them were knocked out by 7. I was the only one not sleeping. I was listening to music, walking around aimlessly in the room, and thinking. I simply did not feel like sleeping. So I did some writing. I'll show you what I had come up with that day sometime soon. But anyway I did end up sleeping at 7.30. Woke up at 8.30 or 9, to hear Dominic complaining about how bored he was. I must say, he really changed a lot after going to the army. He is more vulgar now, and is super cynical. Alamak boss, what happened? Time changes everything I guess.

All of them were awake at 10. So we cleaned up and checked out. We went in Prisca's father's bus to white sands to eat lunch. I really did not feel like eating. I dunno, I had this sense of ennui. Either I had too little sleep, too much alcohol (Wtf, a few cups of wine then like that? You sux man..), and either because....never mind...I don't know what happened, but I didn't talk to her much this time. Mostly one-liners. Hmm.

Came home with Joshua and my brother at around one something pm. Quite early. Was supposed to join Pet and some of them at night for another gathering, but I figured that I had no money and no mood. I wonder if they did go in the end. Slept at 3 something pm to 8 pm. Stayed up till 3 AM after Gabriel told me that there was camp evaluation after Curia the next day. Finished my group's evaluation.

2^nd January 2005

Damn it, received Pet's SMS. There would be no camp evaulation till next Saturday. Stayed up for nothing, bah. Was late for CL. Did not hear the alarm ring at 7 am. Was woken up by Darren Ho's frantic call of “Where are you!? Coming or not!?”. So my brother and I went down anyway. Dear Mother sent us there, but not before lecturing us for sleeping late. Hmm.

Went to Metro with parents after church. Father had voucher from the bank. I bought a pair of pants for the chinese new year. Went for Curia after that. But we had to pick up Matthew from PS first. Traffic was really terrible. There was this accident too. Badly smashed up front carriage. Shit man. So we were really late for meeting. It started at 1pm. We came at 1.30pm.

Went for Joshua's birthday at night. A really small affair. The steamboat and hot plate was really great. Had some drinks too. Tried vodka for the first time. It's tasty. Makes me feel warm inside.

Damn it.... have I become some kind of drunkard? I was thinking about the disaster that just occurred few days ago. And...it didn't really strike me too much. I merely thought to myself, “God have mercy on us, and on the whole world.” and merely “Life goes on.” Has my heart turned cold? I did pray for them, but then I did not know what else to do. Does time really change everything, my heart, your heart, everybody's heart? I don't know, but 2005 is not going to be an ordinary year. I will just continue discovering about life, love, joy, sorrow, anger, and death.

Take my hand and join me. Let us touch the future.

"All Through The Night" by Cyndi Lauper All through the night I'll be awake and I'll be with you All through the night This precious time when time is new Oh, all through the night today Knowing that we feel the same without saying We have no past we won't reach back Keep with me forward all through the night And once we start the meter clicks And it goes running all through the night Until it ends there is no end All through the night stray cat is crying so stray cat sings back All through the night They have forgotten what by day they lack Oh under those white street lamps There is a little chance they may see We have no past we won't reach back Keep with me forward all through the night And once we start the meter clicks And it goes running all through the night Until it ends there is no end Oh the sleep in your eyes is enough Let me be there let me stay there awhile We have no past we won't reach back Keep with me forward all through the night And once we start the meter clicks And it goes running all through the night Until it ends there is no end Keep with me forward all through the night And once we start the meter clicks And it goes running all through the night Until it ends there is no end