Toumeina shizuku wa anata Karenna mizu no ne Kirameku you ni yureru hamon wa haru no yokan Mezame no jumon

Kuzureochite yuku tsumiageta bouheki no mukou de wa Sotto ano hi no boku ga waratteta

Fushigi da ne sabitsuite tomatte ita toki ga Kono sekai ni mo asa wo tsugete kureru yo

-- Sou hitomi tozashitenaide Yoku mitsumete mite Maffuyu ni saita shiroi yuki no hana ni ima nara ki ga tsuku hazu --

Furihodokenakatta zujou no kumo wo sakete Kooritsuku daichi ni wa hisoyaka ni irozuita Tori tachi no habataki ga hitobito no utagoe ga Hibikihajimete mune wo kogasu yo Soshite eien no sora no shita shizundeta fuukei ni yasashii emi de Kaze ni fukareru anata ga ita

Togireta reeru wo e no gu de tsugitashitara Azayaka na ashita ga ugokidashita

Unmei wa fushigi da ne sabitsuite tomatte ita toki ga Kono sekai ni mo asa wo tsugete kureru yo Arukidasu boku tachi ni atatakana yuki ga furisosoide ita Shukufukusareta you ni Rararurara Rararurara Rararurara

Anata wa marude shiroi beeru wo kabutta you da ne

You are those transparent droplets The sweet sound of water The ripples that sway, glittering, is the sign of spring's coming The magic spell of awakening

On the far side of the crumbling wall of defenses, piled so high before, Gently myself of those distant days smiled

Isn't it strange, the time that has rusted and stopped Is telling this world too of the morning

--- Yes, don't shut your eyes And try to look closely

You should be able to notice them now, the white blossoms of snow that bloom in mid winter ---

Rip apart the clouds above you that you had not been able to break free of before The frozen earth is quietly taking on color The sounds of the birds' wings and the song of the people Are starting to resound, scorching my heart

And in the scene that is dipping beneath the eternal sky, With a gentle smile, you were there, swept by the wind

If we extended the rail, which has broken off, with paints and color A bright tomorrow has begun

Isn't fate strange, the time that has rusted and stopped Is telling this world too of the morning Snow is pouring onto us warmly as we set out As if we are blessed Lalalulala Lalalulala Lalalulala You look just like if you have been covered in a white veil

L'arc En Ciel - Snow Drop

Merry Christmas to all! 23 December Went to school for what? 15 minutes of practical briefing? Then met my brother, Adeline and Madeleine at YCK Mrt. Then we went back to my house. Kellina came in the afternoon. We had to search for her because she alighted at the wrong stop. She stopped one stop ahead of the supposed stop. So they were cooking for that night's spiritual gathering at their church. Baked potatoes were excellent, but the chocolate cookies were horrible, thanks to my brother's great cooking strategy. So at night we went down to their church. Blessed Sacrament Church in bloody Commonwealth!? Soooooo far!!!! But it was quite fun lah. Went for my grand-aunt's funeral wake in Bedok. Reached home at 12 something. Wrote Christmas cards, and did my tutorial. Slept at 4 am. 24 December Supposed to go to school at 8 am, but I overslept. So I skipped biochemistry lecture and continued to sleep. Went to school at 10 am. Finished damn early. At 11 something or twelve. Went to Bras Brasah to look for handbinding services. Damn it, whole bloody complex don't even one shop doing it. I ask the guy at ArtFriend how to do it myself, then he come and talk cock with me. Nuts. Went to meet two friends later. I was supposed to follow them to some Christmas play or what, but it turned out to be a Christian service?! But I went in with an open mind anyway. They started the service with some breakdancers. Hmm. Then there was some play about Jesus and God. Hmm, maybe I can get some ideas for our CL skits. Then they sung some P&W songs. There was this guy too, the top scorer for normal tech. He was giving his testimony on how his life was so f***ed up and how much better it became when he started coming to church. Fantastic for this fellow, but not a good enough reason for me to join this church. Then the service ended with altar call. My dear friend tried to rope me in, but I wasn't buying it. He kept talking about the need for a personal relationship with God and the futileness of Catholic 'ceremonies'. I may have misunderstood, but I think he was trying to say we Catholics have no personal relationship with God and that we only go through the motions of so called 'ceremonies'. My dear friend, if I had no personal relationship with God, would I try to be such a nice guy? (I said try ah, because I'm not perfect.) Would I pray to him in my most urgent time of need if I didn't have any relationship with him? Are you going to let out your troubles to an outsider? Well, God is no outsider to me. And what about Catholic 'ceremonies'? Are you referring to the Holy Mass as merely a ceremony? Sorry, but what do you know about the Holy Mass? Do you know what is going on? Do you know what is happening during the Holy Mass? It is not merely a ceremony! It is the central and highest form of worship anyone can ever take part in!! Friend, I know that you have much faith in God, and I can see that. But you cannot say that I have no relationship with God and no faith in him! After that episode I felt rather sorrowful, yet even angry. Why is there division amongst God's people when his church should have been one? How often have sinned against our brothers and caused them to turn away from the church? Why are the people outside the Catholic Church so close to God, yet so far away from him? Why can't our separated brothers accept us for what we are? What? Because we are not born again? Because we are not saved? Hogwash! You then, how can you be so sure of your own salvation? Can you prove that we are not Christians? Do your pastors teach you that the Catholic Church is the devil and the mother of all harlots? What others lies did they put into your head, huh? If not for the Catholic Church, which Jesus Christ himself founded, where would you be today? Can your church claim to be founded by Jesus Christ himself? I am very sorry if my words have been too harsh, if I have hurt anybody's feelings. Please feel free to let me know your opinion. And do think about what I have said. Went to my father's friend's place for dinner. Went for midnight mass after that. Then went to another house for visiting. Came home at 3.40 am. Went to sleep at 4 am. 25 December There was no Christmas morning, only a Christmas afternoon! So we went to my Grandma's house for lunch. A lot of food. My brother and I tried out the new Metal Gear Solid 3 : Snake Eater. Not bad. But no radar! Damn hard to play!! Hmm games are getting more and more realistic nowadays. Today was very quiet. In fact, this Christmas seems to be very quiet. I have no idea why. 26 December Went for CL in the morning. Then went to heartland mall with brother, Kenneth and Darren Ho. Tried that new chicken thingy at Mackers. Not too bad. Went home after that. For some reason I'm very tired. So I practically spent the whole day sleeping. Sad.... Oh yeah, today is boxing day. I had some nice presents. Went for dinner with parents and brother. Ah, and I got my PS2 back already. Yeah! Now I can play Snake Eater!! So, did I find out what the meaning of Christmas is? Not fricking santa claus thats for sure. Don't believe what the media says, shopping is not the meaning of Christmas, Jesus is the meaning of Christmas. It's his birthday for crying out loud. But if Christmas shopping will somehow bring people close to God (super ironic), I don't see anything wrong with that. They say God works in strange ways. That is all.

School started again. 4 hour lectures with breaks in between. Nothing much. Went for carolling. We went to 6 houses, ending at Julius' house. Last week we went to 5 houses. Very full now, as there was a lot of food. Sianz, later have to be in school at 8. zZzZzZ Christmas coming soon. Hmmm.

Went with Benjamin Neo and his father to Ms Maisie Tay's cremation. She passed away on Wednesday. She was my teacher in primary 4. So we went to the Mandai Crematorium to pay our respects. Quite a few marist teachers there and a couple of students. Quite sad to see her husband and kids crying so bitterly. Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me.... I once was lost but now am found, Was blind, but now, I see... Went home for lunch. Went for CAYC's event at the youth centre at Hougang with Matt Heng. It was penitential service for youth. Then there was quite a bit of interaction with youth from all over singapore. And they gave us a nice t-shirt. Interesting door gift. Ate some of the food there, then went home.

Today as usual woke up late again..played some generals...surfed some internet.. I went to see Ms Ong the NYAA lady in school at 4 something. Had to see how to write the report for the NYAA booklet. Went down to city hall then went for 6 pm mass at St Joseph's Church (The one in town). After that I went to meet Robin, Samuel, Angela, Winson and Eugene at City Hall MRT. We went down to Petals, the SHATEC training restaurant. Yeah, the food was really good. I had: Stuffed mussels with crispy fried milk French onion soup Chicken 'en papillote' soused with foie gras White wine mousse with dried fruite slice Petit fours Tea Oh, we had a bottle of house wine too. I paid $30 for my share. It would be $23 if we didn't get the red wine. Once in a while okay lah...but if everyday go to Petals and eat sooner or later sure pok kai one....lol

8 December 2004 The Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception http://www.catholic.org/featured/headline.php?ID=1568 A Glorious Sesquicentenary: The Immaculate Conception +J.M.J.+ by Monsignor Charles M. Mangan ©Catholic Online 2004 On September 8, 1953, Pope Pius XII (1939-1958 ) issued his Encyclical Fulgens Corona (“On the Marian Year and the Dogma of the Immaculate Conception”). The Holy Father’s letter not only anticipated the upcoming Marian Year (December 8, 1953-December 8, 1954) but also commemorated the first centenary of the solemn definition of the Dogma of the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Each year on December 8, the Church liturgically celebrates this Dogma of the Catholic Faith. As this Solemnity approaches this year—the 150th Anniversary of the definition of the Dogma of the Immaculate Conception by Pope Blessed Pius IX (1846-1878 ) on December 8, 1854, might we learn something from the teaching of Pope Pius XII? The “foundation” of the dogma is located in Genesis 3:15 (“I will put enmity between you and the woman and her offspring and yours”) and Saint Luke 1:28 (“Hail, full of grace, the Lord is with you”). The Vicar of Christ contended that “if at any time the Blessed Mary were destitute of Divine grace even for the briefest moment, because of contamination in her conception by the hereditary stain of sin, there would not have come between her and the serpent that perpetual enmity spoken of from earliest tradition down to the time of the solemn definition of the Immaculate Conception, but rather a certain subjection.” (#7) It is no wonder, then, that because of their wholehearted acceptance of this doctrine, the Fathers of the Church lavished praise upon the Ever-Virgin, using an array of vivid and informative titles to describe the sinless Mother of God: “Lily Among Thorns; Land Wholly Intact; Immaculate; Always Blessed; Free From All Contagion Of Sin; Unfading Tree; Fountain Ever Clear; The One And Only Daughter Not Of Death But Of Life; Offspring Not Of Wrath But Of Grace; Unimpaired And Ever Unimpaired; Holy And Stranger To All Stain Of Sin; More Comely Than Comeliness Itself; More Holy Than Sanctity; Alone, Holy Who, Excepting God, Is Higher Than All; By Nature More Beautiful, More Graceful And More Holy Than The Cherubim And Seraphim Themselves And The Whole Hosts Of Angels.” (#9) It only seems right and just that the Savior of the universe would have for His Mother one who was entirely pure and devoid of sin. Jesus “really redeemed His Mother, since it was by virtue of His merits that she was preserved by God immune from all stain of Original Sin.” (#14) No one may lawfully assert that devotion to Mary takes away from the adoration we owe the Most Blessed Trinity. Rather, “any honor and veneration which we may give to our Heavenly Mother undoubtedly rebounds to the glory of her Divine Son, not only because all graces and all gifts, even the highest, flow from Him as from their primary source, but also because ‘The glory of children are their fathers’ [Book of Proverbs, XVII6]” (#15). As Our Blessed Lady told Saint Bernardette Soubirous within the cave at Massabielle near Lourdes, France in 1858, Mary is the Immaculate Conception. The Almighty never allowed the disobedience of Adam and Eve to disgrace her immortal soul. The universal Church fittingly honors her for her singular role in our redemption and, especially on December 8, begs her earnest prayers on our behalf. “O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!”

Ok, I just came back from a 5 day camp, so I guess I have lots of stuff to talk about… 进修营二○○四年, 加默罗圣母青年区团圣母军 Annual Camp 2004, Our Lady of Mount Carmel Junior Curia of the Legion of Mary (Mandarin speaking) Oh, our camp has a theme, namely Rebond, Rebirth, Reconcille 1 December 2004, Day One, Organizing committee arrives at 8.30 am at St Anthony’s Canossian Convent Primary School in Bedok North Avenue 4. I came at 9 am cause I was eating breakfast with Dad. ^_^…..So we cleaned out the rooms and the toilets that we were using. Then we moved the gym mats into the rooms. They were used for sleeping. Then we cleaned the gym mats. We continued our last minute preparation. Pet was quite pissed off about so much last minute work that needed to be done. As a result we had to endure much lecturing. Campers started to come in at around 6 pm. We had our opening program, which involved a very last minute skit. The reason Pet was being so pissed off was that the opening program was planned last minute. So as the day ended, we had to get the campers to go sleep. Damn! Crazy fellows didn’t keep their gaps shut till 4 or 5 am! Basket, I want to stay awake and talk cock also cannot, have to sit for debriefing until 4.30 am! Wah lao…So anyway, we had debriefing for the first night and prepared for the next day. Went to sleep at 4.30 am. 2 December 2004, Day Two, Rebond Damn it, should not have slept at 2 am on Day Zero. Felt like shit on Day 2 morning. Woke up at 6.30 am or so. We had our morning prayer and then morning exercise. We had breakfast, then some games, Shit, I can’t remember what they were. Anyway after that was a talk by Angela entitled “How intimate are you with God?” Her talk was okay to me, but some of the campers were not really listening. Then there was rosary then lunch. Then there was a Brother from St Patrick’s School to conduct a talk. I wasn’t there. I was eating air with Robin outside. After the talk was a break, then a talk on conscience by Angela. Whoa! So many talks! You should have seen Day Three….I planned plenty of talks… So there was a Bible Treasure Hunt. It was station games or something. Ah shit! My head is so muddled that I can’t remember! Then there was bathing time, followed by another talk on Reconciling with your parents. That one was terrible. Nobody had the mood to listen. It was so bad that Angela had to give up halfway. Oh rats. Then there was the night activity. I forgot to mention, my brother Justin and my best friend Joshua were at this camp to play guitar. None of us committee can play for nuts, so we had to deploy these two professionals. I was hesitant on inviting them, because traditionally 进修营 does not allow non-legionaries to attend. But they relented because, really…….can you imagine praise and worship without guitar to lead? I really can’t, so yeah, we decided to call them. Anyway, their performance was really fantastic. They were really into the mood of the songs. After P&W, there was a night walk to lead them into reflection. We had different stations with voice acting of certain scenarios, that hopefully will lead them into reflection about self, others, God blah blah. There was supper, then sent them off to sleep at around 12 or something. Debriefing for the 2nd day and prepared for the next day. Went to sleep at 4.30 am. 3 December 2004, Day Three, Rebirth Woke up at 6.30 am or so. Today was my group’s day. We had our morning prayer conducted by me. They were so sleepy! I didn’t know what to do. Fortunately Eugene came to the rescue and got them to do some action song. But I had cut short their happiness by immediately going into reflection after that. Ooops! Then we had our morning exercise in the hall. That one was a bit sian for them, cause it was dragging far too long. This was because breakfast wasn’t ready. As a result we were 45 minutes behind time! Was that bad? Not necessarily! It reduced the discussion time for my next program and reduced the time allowed for them to doze off. Yeah!! So after breakfast, we had our program entitled “The Sacraments and You”. Self-explanatory, it is about Baptism, Penance and Eucharist. We began with a skit about Baptism followed by explanation by Kellina, then skit about Penance followed by explanation by Clare, then a story telling on Eucharist with explanation by me. I was surprised to have them give a good response during their discussion session. It really made me happy. Moved on to lunch, followed by a quiz on the Legion prayers and the handbook. Basically we wanted them to unscramble the prayers which had been cut up and reassemble them. The quiz involved some questions about the organization, That activity was a bit messy, because we couldn’t decided who stood up first to answer the question. Anwyay, we had a program on contact work after that. The skit was really good. Special Thanks to Gary, Eugene, Gabriel and Luke! I think the campers really enjoyed it. We had station games after that, then dinner and group time. The groups were supposed to come up with a skit and a collage on a cloth for the last time. The collage is supposed to represent what they have learnt in the camp. At night we had Firefight, which was Eugene’s program. It involved searching for coloured paper flags all over the place, using lighted candles, blowing off opponents’ candle, protecting your own candle, pasting the flags onto the leader, and escorting him/her to the finishing point! Wow! Yeah, this activity looked so fun that I wanted to play it myself. Instead, I had to look out for fantastic tactics and strategies. I saw 2 people gang up on one opponent, and I also saw a Multikill, being, several candles getting blown out at one shot! We had our night activity. It was quite messy. The so called P&W was totally impromptu! We got so panicked that we used songs that we did not plan on using. And surprisingly they found my commentary to be very appropriate. Wow! Then the pledge for renewing their vows did not go too well, for they were not really in the mood for it. Oh well, that aside, I’d say it was a good day. Debriefing for the 3rd day and prepared for the next day. Went to sleep at 4.30 am. Oh, Joshua and Luke left early to go to the airport. Joshua went to Sydney and Luke to New York. Michael aka Waxy left early too. 4 December 2004, Day Four, Reconcile Today is games day by Eugene’s group, him and Gary. Today very senang for the campers. Waking up was at 8.30 am!! I had 4 hours of sleep. Great! We had our morning game called Knock the tower down. It involved constructing a tower with biscuit tins and water bottles and tape and a classroom table. The original plan was to use really soft and squishy balls to demolish the towers, but they turned out to be too strong. So we introduced military grade missiles of 1.5 litre water filled coke bottles (Were you expecting VX binary agent or a plastic explosive warhead?). The next game was Free for all Captain’s ball. Really cool. Very messy, but still damn fun. I was in charge of controlling the people who were throwing in the water bombs. Had to cart off the buckets to the toilets for refilling. Yeah. Fun game. After lunch we had station games in a carnival setting, which allowed to them free rein to choose where to go, at what time. At night we had the night party, in which we invited some parents and senior members to take a look. The skits and collages were very well done. I really enjoyed it. But we had a bit of problem trying to find English songs relating to friendship. We had too many Chinese songs and we couldn’t find any. As a result, they only got to sing Chinese songs. Ah well, what can I say? They still loved it.. We had a fairly short debriefing that ended at 2 or something. Went to write my letters to the others and also helped to control the noise level. Lol the number catch phrase used in the camp is like, “SHHHH!! The nuns are sleeping!!!” About the letters….We gave each one of them a letter box to decorate so that they can send mails to one another. How lovely. Oh, it was really good to see Michelle and Veronica after sooooooooo loooong… Went to sleep at 6.30 am on Day Five. 5 December 2004, Day Five, Go home! At bloody last! The last day! I woke up at 8 am. We had mass at 8.30 I think..by Father Timothy from Holy Trinity. Amazingly I did not fall asleep. After that we had breakfast and then cleaned up the place. We concluded the camp by returning them their boxes and revealing their secret pals. A secret pal is someone who you perform nice things for such as making breakfast and sending drinks. Little things like that. So we sent them off packing at 1 pm I think. I think they couldn’t bear to leave. Awww…… So we facilitators cleaned up, returned the gym mats and had lunch, courtesy of Madeline’s mother, Adeline’s mother and Kellina’s mother, who incidentally is the same mother for all of them. Ahhhhaaahah!! Kellina, please thank your mother for us again.. Mum came to pick Justin, Eugene, Gary and I home. Reached home at 4pm. Conked out at 4.30pm. Did not recover consciousness till 9 am the next day. 6 December 2004, No more camp already lah! Woke up at 9 am to check SMSes but went back to sleep and woke up at 12pm. Packed the stuff I brought bag from the camp, chucked the dirty clothes into the machine and all.. I even had some time to read my mails. I’m rather happy to read the mails. Shit! I thought that Veron had forgot to write to me but guess where I found her letter? In the refrigerator with the sweets my friends stuffed into my box! Lol…. I can feel my years in legion starting to reward me, with many damn good friends. Yay. Went for band sectional in the evening. Shit, I was so tired that I tripped over the chair and almost caused all the cymbals on the right of the drum set to fall apart. Lol, they were so amused. Went for dinner with Mum. I dunno why, but I actually decided to strike up a conversation. I had lots of things to talk about. I finally got a chance to talk about the older brother I never had. It turns out that I was supposed to have TWO older siblings and One after me followed by my living brother Justin. Oh my God. Like which woman can tolerate 2 miscarriages before having a son, then having another one before having another son? Oh my God. I think I should offer a mass for my siblings that never were. My mother seemed to take history very well. It seemed like she got over it or something. 世上只有妈妈好….Damn I don’t know how the rest goes. Wah lao! I’ve been typing this out for dunno how many hours man. Gee… I’ve lots more to say, but really, I prefer to sleep. It’s close to 3 in the morning HELLO???? ^_^